


dysfunctional functionality

by starsupernova



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Comfort/Angst, Cuddles, Dreams and Nightmares, Drinking, Family, Homophobia, Jealousy, M/M, Smoking, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Suicide, Violence, Weddings, drug mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-13
Updated: 2015-09-29
Packaged: 2018-05-18 01:38:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5893099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starsupernova/pseuds/starsupernova
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>they're like the moon and the sun.<br/>moving, working, existing in this cycle of dysfunctional functionality.</p><p>[seven separate fics for kyouhaba week 2015]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. it's okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yahaba had promised to take revenge on Karasuno and Shiratorizawa and Kyoutani had vowed to follow Yahaba through every step of the way, but they were too weak, their cohesion wasn’t perfect, the last year’s seniors were gone.
> 
> It was enough to shatter them.
> 
> kyouhaba week day one:  
> smile // **hands**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaand kyouhaba week begins!
> 
>  
> 
> i'm super excited.

They sit quietly there, cross legged on Yahaba’s bed. **  
**

Tears are still drying on Yahaba’s cheeks and the frustration still burns in Kyoutani’s eyes.

Yahaba had promised to take revenge on Karasuno and Shiratorizawa and Kyoutani had vowed to follow Yahaba through every step of the way, but they were too weak, their cohesion wasn’t perfect, the last year’s seniors were gone.

It was enough to shatter them.

They had lost, of course. Karasuno was a monstrous force.

Kyoutani’s hands ache with the pain of spike after spike, crashing down on the opposite side of the court, only to be received and sent right back.

If only he’d put in a little more strength, then maybe it would have broken through.

Yahaba’s hands ache with the pain of sets tossed as perfectly as possible into the path of Kyoutani’s spike, but he _isn’t_ Kageyama Tobio, and sometimes the tosses fall too short.

If only he was a genius, then maybe.

Yahaba wraps his hands around Kyoutani’s wrists and lifts his hands to his mouth, pressing his lips into Kyoutani’s palms.

He kisses every fingertip, every knuckle, every inch of the warm skin of his hands.

“You’re a fucking sap,” Kyoutani says and Yahaba spares a laugh.

Just for a second and just for him.

Yahaba’s tears, so rarely seen, spill again now.

He feels weak, broken, lost.

Everything he had held back during the end of the game, the captain’s speech, his last set in the Aobajousai gym, comes pouring out now, as he drops Kyoutani’s hands.

Kyoutani remembers what he said months ago. "There’s still the Spring High, Yahaba.”

But there isn’t any more now, there is just away. Away from Seijou, away from the Inter-Highs.

Away from volleyball.

Kyoutani wipes away Yahaba’s tears gently and leans in so their knees knock together and their foreheads touch.

“Don’t cry. Yahaba, it’s--it’s gonna be okay.” Kyoutani says.

But it isn't. It isn't because they lost. It isn't because they're in love with each other and there's no way they're going to the same college. It isn't because they have no idea what to do.

But it is _more_ than okay because they have each other now. They have their hands linked together, palms touching.

They are lying next to each other now and Kyoutani lifts their clasped hands and runs his lips along Yahaba's knuckles. He whispers Yahaba's name against his skin and presses a kiss to each fingernail.

Yahaba feels teardrops on the back of his hand, dripping inconsistently past his wrist and down his arm.

He realizes that this is the first time he's seen Kyoutani cry and he doesn't look; he lets Kyoutani's words spill from his eyes and he hears without seeing.

Kyoutani rolls into Yahaba, letting go of his hand, and kisses his neck gently, and tears pool and collect in the hollow area above Yahaba’s collarbone. Yahaba wraps his arms around Kyoutani’s waist and runs his hands up Kyoutani’s back, tracing out his spine with light fingertips.

“It’s okay,” Kyoutani repeats, voice a little raspy. The tears are drying on Yahaba’s collarbone.

Yahaba guides Kyoutani's shirt over his head and pulls it off, pressing his lips to Kyoutani's chapped ones.

Kyoutani's hands are resting just under his shirt right below his belly button, and then they drift up, running over his abdomen and across his rib cage.

It is okay now with their bodies and hands synchronized. They may have lost the match but they can lose themselves in each other, and in their love.

“Goodnight, Kentarou.”

Their hands link together and they fall asleep, hearts almost empty.

Almost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm a sap too.


	2. jealousy and kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Girls obviously had to find someone else to fawn over, and somehow, it had become Yahaba Shigeru, also known as the object of Kyoutani’s affection.
> 
> kyouhaba week day two:  
> touch // **jealousy**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaah not the best but i didnt want to miss a day so i whipped this up! i'm a day late anyway smh @ me

Kyoutani knew that Yahaba was the prettiest boy in the school. **  
**

Last year, he would have had to grudgingly admit that it was Oikawa, but that bastard had gone and graduated anyway.

Girls obviously had to find someone else to fawn over, and somehow, it had become Yahaba Shigeru, also known as the object of Kyoutani’s affection.

He felt a vague connection to Iwaizumi as he watched a girl, shy and timid, hand a gift to Yahaba, who blushed mildly and smiled graciously and took it carefully. Kyoutani’s eye twitched almost imperceptibly. He waved goodbye and walked over to Kyoutani, opening the package to reveal a row of chocolate. Kyoutani made sure the girl had left before plucking a chocolate out of the box and throwing it into his mouth.

“I’m going to get a thousand cavities,” Yahaba comments as they walk through the hallways to the gym.

In between of loud chews, Kyoutani shoved his hands into his pockets. “Go complain to Oikawa,” he said shortly. Yahaba raised an eyebrow.

“Well, you’re snappy today,” Yahaba commented. Kyoutani rolled his eyes.

“Is that new, captain?” Kyoutani drawled and Yahaba didn’t answer as they swung open the door to the gym to start practice.

* * *

Kyoutani didn’t not expect the girl waiting outside of the gym after practice ended but he hoped to any force of nature that there would not be one.

It was bad enough being attracted to someone who was clearly just a friend but then having them be actually sought after?

Forces of nature were rude.

The girl blushed as Yahaba and Kyoutani walked out into the bright spring air. She approached Yahaba quietly and Kyoutani took a step back. Yahaba gave him a side long glance and he took several steps back, until he had tucked back behind the building, hidden from Yahaba and the girl by a brick wall.

Still, he couldn’t help but listen.

“Yahaba-kun, can I kiss you?”

What.

What the _fuck_.

Kyoutani’s stomach twisted and he almost wanted to stomp out from behind that freaking wall and confess to Yahaba right there if it meant that Yahaba and the girl didn’t kiss.

Yahaba agreed even before Kyoutani could call the action.

There was a small sound underneath the birds chirping and Kyoutani felt like dying.

He turned and walked away, hoping in the back of his mind to be that girl.

* * *

When they walked out of practice the next day, the flush on Yahaba’s face as they crossed the spot where he had stopped yesterday.

It was adorable and Kyoutani mentally punched himself in the face.

They continued walking, taking the normal path to Yahaba’s house, but there was definitely some kind of tension hovering between the inches between their shoulders.

Kyoutani couldn’t bear it.

“Why’d you kiss her?”

It was no more than a mumble under his breath and Yahaba’s eyebrows scrunched in confusion.

“Huh?”

Kyoutani clenched his fists from where they were in his pockets and continued staring at his feet. “Why’d you kiss her?”

There was a pause.

“Why did you leave?”

“Answer my question.”

“Answer mine first.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“Ugh.”

Yahaba rolled his eyes at Kyoutani’s noise of disgust and looked at him through the sides of his eyes.

“She kissed me, by the way, and I let her because I’m a kind person, so answer mine.”

Kyoutani shrugged, facing Yahaba with a look of disinterest. “Felt like it.”

Yahaba’s eyebrow cocked up and he smirked. “Really?” He moved into Kyoutani to bump into him. “Are you sure you weren’t jealous?”

Kyoutani knew it was just a jibe.

He knew it yet he let himself blush and let the lump grow in his throat. “Maybe.”

Yahaba stopped moving. “What?”

Kyoutani looked Yahaba right in the eyes, face red and teeth gritted together. “I said maybe. Got a problem?”

Yahaba had the nerve to laugh. He cracked up right there for a good five seconds and wrapped his hand around Kyoutani’s forearm, tugging the shorter boy closer to him.

“You know, if you wanted a kiss, you could have just asked.”

And Yahaba tilted his head and kissed Kyoutani and every jealous thought that Kyoutani had ever had flew out of his head as Yahaba swiped his tongue against Kyoutani’s bottom lip. 


	3. realization

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He is a shard of glass. There is a bloody cracked piece shoved into his heart. 
> 
> It bleeds with the pain of his forgotten sister, his invisible brother, his dead mother, his destroyed father. 
> 
> kyouhaba week day three:  
> pets // **family**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahahhaa a day late again but here you go i gift you some beautiful angst

Kyoutani's life is like shards of glass. **  
**

His sister, twenty five years old, is scattered to the left. She is a drug addict living with three men in a Tokyo apartment.

Kyoutani hasn't seen her since she dropped out of high school and hasn't heard of her since the one email she sent to him five years ago.

His brother, twenty three years old, is scattered above his head. He hates Kyoutani, blames him for his mother's death.

Kyoutani hasn't seen him since he graduated high school and has not heard of him since his letter of acceptance to a high class university in Hokkaido accidentally arrived at their home.

His mother is scattered deep beneath the ground. She died giving birth to Kyoutani, a part of the small percentage of childbirth deaths in Japan.

Kyoutani hasn't seen her in his entire life and has not heard of her until the fight that sent his brother spiraling out of their lives.

His father is scattered in front of him, but just out of reach. He does not speak to Kyoutani, his gaze is glassy with longing, and usually the only sign that Kyoutani has of his presence is a bowl of udon sitting on the table every Friday night.

Kyoutani sees him every day of his life yet he doesn't seem to hear of him at all.

He is a shard of glass. There is a bloody cracked piece shoved into his heart.

It bleeds with the pain of his forgotten sister, his invisible brother, his dead mother, his destroyed father.  

Kyoutani doesn't really realize it at first, how his team becomes his psuedo-family of sorts.

There is Kindaichi, truly good through and through, and Kyoutani knows that the ace's position will be safe in his hands after he graduates.

There is Kunimi, lazy but smart and perceptive, and although Kyoutani feels like Kunimi can see right through him, it's not threatening at all.

There is Watari, a beacon of reliability for the team. Even though Kyoutani would not, could not, talk to anyone about his shattered life, Watari is always there, standing strong.

There is Matsukawa, who visits every other week and Kyoutani realizes that he kind of missed the eyebrow wiggles and side long glances that he threw away carelessly in the small space of time that they played together on the same court.

There is Hanamaki, Matsukawa’s everlasting partner-in-crime, and Kyoutani is sitting on the bench one day after practice and Hanamaki, who had been setting for him that day, threw a towel to him and split the cream puff between his fingers, handing one half to Kyoutani.

There is Oikawa, who comes back to practice with Seijou with his college team and signature peace signs and bright smiles. It makes Kyoutani grumble and Oikawa uses Kyoutani's head as a armrest and Kyoutani smiles as he punches Oikawa in the arm.

There is Iwaizumi, who has been the pillar of Aobajousai since Kyoutani’s first year and Kyoutani always has looked up to Iwaizumi (no matter how many time he has beat him in everything). It warms his heart in an interesting way every time Kyoutani receives one of his spikes or watches him from the other side of the court when Kyoutani slams a spike through his line of defense and Iwaizumi gives him an approving smile.

Kyoutani hadn’t realized how incredibly lonely he used to be, skipping class behind dumpsters, doing anything but going home, sitting alone at the ramen shop, watching friends chatter together.

Yahaba isn’t family, he realizes. Yahaba doesn’t feel like family when he touches him. Yahaba feels like something else, something a little bit closer.

The warm feeling in his chest is something different when he talks to Yahaba and when Yahaba smiles at him.

The warmth he feels from Yahaba is like a glowing sun and it is only _Yahaba_ and Kyoutani yearns to call him Shigeru, like he does in daydreams and night fantasies.

The warmth he feels is like a thousand fireworks sparking through every inch of his body as they sit on the still damp grass watching a sunrise and Yahaba puts his hand over top Kyoutani’s and presses it into the soft dirt.

They are talking in oh so soft voices, eyes bleary and movements lethargic with sleepiness but they wouldn’t miss the sight for anything.

The conversation drifts to family and Yahaba talks about his little sister who just graduated her first year of junior high and Kyoutani tries to ignore his heart breaking as Yahaba smiles.

Yahaba asks Kyoutani if he has any siblings and Kyoutani says yes and leaves it at that.

Yahaba’s hand tightens around Kyoutani’s and he leans into him, resting his head on his shoulder.

Kyoutani’s breath hitches and they share their first slow, lazy kiss against the sunrise on the damp grass.

They have been dating for a month when Yahaba sees Kyoutani’s house. It’s not a bad place, but the air about it is choking and Kyoutani tries not to scream as he says goodbye.

They have been dating for two months when Kyoutani goes with Yahaba to watch his sister’s basketball game but the only thing he watches is Yahaba’s face shine as his sister plays and he tries to ignore his heart breaking.

They lie on Yahaba’s bed later, legs twisted together, shirts discarded in a corner of a room, and Yahaba brushes his lips against Kyoutani’s chest and he spills.

He tells the stories of his forgotten sister, his invisible brother, his dead mother, his destroyed father, and he tries to stop himself from screaming and crying but everything is tearing him apart from the inside.

This is the first time he’s told anyone apart from the echoing walls of the room that seems to encase him every  time he goes in and those walls know his screams better than Yahaba’s ears.

Kyoutani still cries with pain laced like a drug in his voice and Yahaba is encasing him in a hug and Yahaba’s arms are more comforting than the walls of his room.

He has no family, he has no family, all he has is the screaming, he has no-

Yahaba is whispering in his ears now, and the words are urgent, hurried, and laced with love and Kyoutani remembers slowly that he has them.

He has Kindaichi, Kunimi, Watari, Matsukawa, Hanamaki, Oikawa, and Iwaizumi.

He has _Yahaba_.

Kyoutani calls him Shigeru and kisses him over the tears. His throat is raw from screaming, but he realizes that with Yahaba here, he doesn’t have to do much more than whisper. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fuckin love angst


	4. stripes and arrows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yahaba's mark is nothing like the bright red and gold and purple and ones he will see throughout his life, laid across collarbones and down ribs and across thighs. Yahaba's mark is two black stripes circling his upper right forearm. He wonders what Kyoutani's hair reminds him of for the longest time.
> 
> kyouhaba week day four:  
> team // **soulmates**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jdshjksdfh i love soulmate mark stuff so much i cry

Yahaba's mark is nothing like the bright red and gold and purple and ones he will see throughout his life, laid across collarbones and down ribs and across thighs. **  
**

Yahaba's mark is two black stripes circling his upper right forearm.

He wonders what Kyoutani's hair reminds him of for the longest time.

(He only realizes much later when stands in front of the mirror and runs his hands over his mark and it hits him like a volleyball to the face).

He dislikes Kyoutani at first sight, from the top of his bleached blonde head to his sneakered toes.

The guy positively oozes over-confidence and scorn and Yahaba wants to punch him (but he also does not have a death wish, so that doesn’t work out as planned).

The captain asks Yahaba to set for Kyoutani so he does it, only out of respect for his upperclassman, until Yahaba can’t handle the glares and the comments and the shouting and pleads to switch.

Kyoutani leaves a week later anyways.

Yahaba rarely sees him, although as first years, they should be in the same hallway.

That's until a bleached blonde head walks into his class halfway through the year and sits in the seat behind him.

Yahaba constantly feels his presence behind him on that first day and it distracts him endlessly from his work. It annoys him how much he wants to turn around and just look at Kyoutani.

He picks a seat near the back for the rest of the year, and in between math problems, stares at the muscles flexing in Kyoutani's back and his neck scrunching up in concentration.

On the last day of his first year of junior high, he wondered how he'd developed a crush on someone whom he'd talked to a total of four times in his life, and hated at first sight.

He goes home and examines his soulmate mark, hoping that his real soulmate would be a lot less complicated than this hopefully short term infatuation.

When Kyoutani is in his class again, Yahaba stabs a pencil straight through his notebook.

Oikawa somehow finds out.

It's the first time Yahaba has talked to Kyoutani in almost a year.

"I'm in the volleyball team."

"I remember." Kyoutani isn't looking at him but at least he's listening.

"Oikawa-san wants to you if you're returning to the club or not, so we can know whether to take you off the list or not."

Yahaba doesn't bother to explain who Oikawa is because if he remembers Yahaba, he obviously remembers—

"Who's that?"

Yahaba's eyebrow shoots up into his hairline. "Are you serious? Genius setter? Captain of the team? How do you not know him?"

"Didn't bother."

Yahaba is supremely confused by the boy sitting in the seat in front of him.

"Okay...so what do you think?"

"No."

Later in the day, Yahaba convinces Oikawa to leave his name on the members list, because he had sensed that doubt and hesitation before the final answer.

Yahaba tried not to be proud of his judgment when Kyoutani stormed into practice two months or so before the Spring Interhigh.

Until Kyoutani made a sneering comment under his breath about how they lost to Shiratorizawa again and Yahaba had an overwhelming urge to burn his crush in a pit in hell.

Still, Yahaba couldn't help but notice how he arced in the air before smashing a spike across the court.

And how he bit the corner of his lip when he was concentrating.

Or how his biceps flexed when he stretched his arms over his head.

How his ears reddened at the tips when he apologized to Yahaba after that shattering loss to Karasuno.

How he had just nodded and the corners of his mouth turned up almost imperceptibly when Yahaba had vowed to take revenge.

Sparks shoot up Yahaba’s spine the first time Kyoutani called him captain.

It was easy to love after that and Yahaba stands in front of the mirror, hoping that the mark would peel off because he knows it isn't for the boy he had fallen for, until he finally realizes what Kyoutani’s hair reminds him of.

Although he sees Watari and Kunimi giving him looks out of the corner of his eye, Yahaba can’t help but stare the next time that Kyoutani takes off his shirt in the locker room and he spots Kyoutani’s mark.

* * *

_Kyoutani's mark looks like a scar across his shoulder blades when he is born. It doesn't fully form until he turns ten, but his aunt swears up and down that all it means is that he is going to fall in love late._

_Kyoutani's mark forms into a sketchy and black arrow with a tip that seems to be smudged with charcoal._

_After Kyoutani is completely sure that he has fallen headfirst in love with Yahaba Shigeru, he goes home and realizes that the character for “yaha” means arrow._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my love for these two is _unending_


	5. spring wedding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a spring wedding, and luckily, spring is a good time for love.
> 
> kyouhaba week day five:  
> crossover (or au) // **seasons**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> latelatelatelate fire me
> 
> but it's here

It’s going to be a spring wedding, but chilly late fall wind whips at the closed windows. **  
**

“Iwa-chaaan,” Oikawa complains. “I don’t want to invite Tobio-chan!”

Iwaizumi shoots Oikawa a smoldering glare and Kyoutani snorts from his position on the couch. “Well, I want to and it’s our wedding. Plus, didn’t you guys make up a long time ago?”

“Yeah, but he’s still my rival and-” Yahaba jabs Oikawa in the gut and scribbles down a name.

“I’m putting him at the Karasuno table,” Yahaba says and jots down a note right next to it.

“I can’t believe we have a Karasuno table,” Oikawa says, looking at invitation designs.

“High school was a long time ago,” Iwaizumi comments offhandedly and a layer of quiet nostalgia settles in the air until Kyoutani shatters it with his feet thumping to the hardwood floor as he swings his legs from off the couch.

“Why are you doing this in our apartment anyway? You have your own, ya know, and I’m trying to take a nap?”

Iwaizumi sighs, Oikawa laughs, and Yahaba flings a pillow at his boyfriend.

“You literally agreed to this,” Yahaba says, as the pillow catches Kyoutani in the face. “Plus, their apartment is a hot mess right now and I couldn’t function in that mess.”

“It is _not_!” Oikawa protests as Kyoutani throws the pillow to the ground and glares at Yahaba, who blows him a kiss in return. “I’ll have you know that I’m a very clean person and--”

“You can say that again,” Iwaizumi says, agreeing with Yahaba, and Oikawa splutters.

Kyoutani mutters something like “already married” or “fucking annoying” under his breath and Yahaba snorts with laughter.

Kyoutani stretches out on the couch again and the room settles into relative silence, minus the constant noise of scissors snipping and pencils scratching.

His eyes feel heavy and droopy and he drifts off to into an almost sleep.

Oikawa fiddles with his phone until his favorite K-pop artist begins playing loudly, EDM-style music filling the apartment.

Needless to say, Oikawa Tooru gets attacked by two people that day, with another laughing the whole way through.

* * *

It’s going to be a spring wedding, but now there are light flakes of snow falling to the sidewalk outside the restaurant.

“I don’t think I can eat another bite.”

Kyoutani gladly comes when Yahaba drags him along for taste testing but he’s probably eaten four meals worth of food by this point (most of it not even amazing) and he can’t physically try anything else, although there are still a few more dishes to arrive.

“Help me,” Yahaba moans.

“Iwa-chan, will you still love me if I die right now?”

“Shut up, Oikawa.”

“I’m so full.”

The arrival of another dish sets them all off groaning.

“I’m done,” Yahaba declares.

Kyoutani tentatively takes a bite of the small cheesecake that is set on the table and then recoils instantly.

“I think I’m gonna puke.”

“Bathroom’s that way,” Yahaba says,  waving his hand to the general direction of the bathroom.

Kyoutani lurches out of his chair and hurries in that direction and Yahaba moans, falling onto his side on Kyoutani’s chair.

“I think the vegetable pasta was good,” Oikawa says thoughtfully and Iwaizumi and Yahaba just sigh.

* * *

It’s a spring wedding and Yahaba has his arms around Kyoutani. Since neither of them can dance, they’re just swaying to the beat of the music. Though they’re probably off beat with that too.

Oikawa, on the other hand, has Iwaizumi spinning under his arm, and Yahaba can sense Iwaizumi’s urge to punch his husband, but he’s smiling nonetheless.

Yahaba watches Iwaizumi smack Oikawa in the arm while Matsukawa and Hanamaki howl with laughter beside them.

The open air is warm and it smells of the coming summer.

“They’re so happy,” Yahaba muses quietly.

“Yeah,” Kyoutani says.

A pause.

“Aren’t you?”

Is he?

He’s known the two of them for years, he’d helped them for months, he bawled when they exchanged rings, he _sobbed_ when they made their speeches, yes, he’s happy.

“Of course.”

“Me too,” Kyoutani said and Yahaba raised an eyebrow, grinning. “Now I can call them an old married couple and it can be legit.”

“I heard that, Kyouken-chan!” Oikawa hollers and Iwaizumi laughs. Yahaba’s grin widens.

“I love you.”

He kisses Kyoutani on the lips, vaguely remembering the days when he had to look down to do it, and smiles.

“I love you, too, Yahaba.”

“So, do you want a spring wedding too?”

Kyoutani splutters at Yahaba’s implications but replies nonetheless.

“I think any season would be fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BD
> 
> i dont think that kyouhaba would rlly get married so i put iwaoi in there bc i'm trash for them too :')


	6. dogfight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It starts with a fight, and doesn't really change much from there.
> 
> kyouhaba week day six:  
>  **past** // **future**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i....
> 
> read on your own accord

Yahaba is six years old and he gets into a fight on the park playground. **  
**

The boy has fuzzy short black hair and elbows him for reaching the jungle gym first. Yahaba is more belligerent than he will be when he grows up, so he doesn’t waste anytime in punching back.

The two of them rough it out on the woodchip mulch until Yahaba’s parents divert their attention from Yahaba’s two year old sister and to the fight and pull the two of them apart.

Yahaba’s parents scold Yahaba and brush dirt off his arms, before making him go apologize to the boy. Yahaba starts to complain that he had started it first, but his parents will have none of it, so he stomps over to the boy, who is still sitting on the dirt, and sticks out his arm, pulling the boy to  his feet.

“I’m Yahaba Shigeru. We can share the jungle gym.” There is no sorry spoken but the black haired boy doesn’t complain.

“Okay.” Kyoutani never had had anyone to share anything with before.

* * *

“What do you mean, you’re moving?” Yahaba says, stepping closer and wrapping his hand around Kyoutani’s collar.

“I’m moving, that’s what. Minamisan is a good junior high--”

It’s funny how volatile they still are even after so many years, as if their friendship (if they could even call it that) could crack at anytime, and Yahaba still can’t control his emotions around Kyoutani and he shoves Kyoutani into a wall.

“What about me?”

Kyoutani growls, prying Yahaba’s hand off of his shirt. “What do you mean, you?”

“We’re friends, aren’t we?”

Yahaba’s voice goes dangerously low, like Kyoutani knows it does when he’s seethingly angry, but Kyoutani doesn’t care at this point.

“I don’t know, are we? You just shoved me into a wall!”

“If we aren’t friends, then get the hell out of my house.”

Yahaba doesn’t see him after Kyoutani storms out his front door and Yahaba curses the day for the next three years. He doesn’t forget.

He texts Kyoutani once on the December after. He gets no reply.

_Happy Birthday._

* * *

Yahaba steps closer, and wraps his hand around Kyoutani’s collar, shoving him into the wall.

He knows it should remind him of that day but he shed that all behind him from the second that Kyoutani walked into the Aobajousai gym the year before.

He yells at Kyoutani, who is shocked still, and Yahaba wonders if he really has changed that much since then.

His eyes have darkened, enough so that it looks like eyeliner circling his lids. His hair is bleached and he’s grown taller, though not nearly enough to catch up to Yahaba. He’s gained muscle though, and he looks more like a delinquent than ever.

He blocks out the court, the crowd, and focuses on Kyoutani’s face. Even his shouting was drowned out by the white noise in his ears. He hadn’t been this close to Kyoutani since four years ago and it tears at the part of his heart that feels something other than resentment.

He wonders what that feeling is.

Friendship, he thinks as he watches Kyoutani arc into a powerful spike.

Love, he realizes when they lose to Karasuno and Kyoutani calls him captain under his breath.

* * *

Yahaba thinks that his and Kyoutani’s relationship is hidden until someone drags him behind a building in their second year of college and shouts homophobic slurs while he makes out three students, one holding a baseball bat in his right hand.

“You fucking faggot,” the boy says, grating and growling, and Yahaba’s blood runs cold as the other two hold his arms around his back and the baseball comes across his cheek and he can feel something break.

Yahaba blurs. His life blurs to just the pain of the boy’s baseball bat, the other boy’s fists, the girl’s long raking fingernails.

What did he do wrong?

A figure enters the corner of his vision, breaking through the blur.

Kyoutani drags away the one in front of him and his familiar voice pierces through the haze.

Love, he realizes, as he blacks out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did i hurt my children?  
> yes i did.


	7. searching for something that you can't reach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyoutani wakes up every morning and pours himself a glass of scotch and goes to work at his nine-to-five office job. 
> 
> Kyoutani comes home every evening and lights a cigarette and plays shit music while staring at the molding walls of his shit apartment. 
> 
> kyouhaba week day six:  
>  **free prompt**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is super freaking late so pls forgive me i wanted to finish....
> 
> the title is based off the song ghost by halsey.
> 
> also this is super dark so beware.

Kyoutani finds the man in his dreams vaguely familiar. **  
**

In his dreams, the man calls to him, smiling, and it twists Kyoutani's heart, because he doesn't deserve that angelic smile.

Kyoutani wakes up every morning and pours himself a glass of scotch and goes to work at his nine-to-five office job.

Kyoutani comes home every evening and lights a cigarette and plays shit music while staring at the molding walls of his shit apartment.

He doesn't deserve a smile like that but he wants to stay asleep forever just to feel it's warmth.

The man in his dreams is in love with Kyoutani. Kyoutani can't help but love right back, especially when he is so alone every morning when he wakes up before he drags himself out of bed and pours a glass of scotch.

He knows it's stupid and he knows it's dangerous and he knows the man is a figment of his imagination, but the loneliness is too much to bear.

Kyoutani looks forward to sleeping every night, just so he can see that beautiful face and the loving gaze.

His life is a nightmare and his dreams are the reason that he lives.

In his dreams, the man kisses him, soft and gentle, and it burns in the day because Kyoutani’s life is rough as sandpaper and the man’s skin is soft.

The man is a beautiful ghost, a shining specter, a form of fog and a blow of wind.

Kyoutani doesn't dream of him one night. He dreams of dark smoke and demons and he jolts awake, palms sweating.

He doesn't dream of him the next night either and he feels his heart growing weaker, as if his only life source was being sucked dry.

Over his glass of scotch, Kyoutani opens up the newspaper to the obituary section.

A face stares up at him, a slight smile on the lips. They have kissed his skin before.

Yahaba Shigeru. Kyoutani knows the name, vaguely, from his high school days, and realizes how the man was familiar.

Yahaba Shigeru. He whispers it between thin clenched lips. Killed in a car accident. Yahaba Shigeru. He whispers it as something wet slides down his face and drips onto the newspaper.

He had never talked to Yahaba in his life, but he knows every inch of his smooth skin and every corner of his smile that warmed his heart every night.

He cries for that, and he cries because the dark smoke and demons will appear in his dreams every night from then on.

* * *

Kyoutani finds Yahaba’s grave.

It is dark and a streetlamp is the only thing that lights up the path that he is walking.

He cannot sleep and hasn’t for days, because Yahaba will not appear to him, cannot.

He is dead and under his gravestone lies a volleyball, bouquets of flowers and a blue and white and mint green uniform folded neatly in front of the grave.

There is also a rope.

Kyoutani had brought that along with him.

Kyoutani knows he's gone a little bit insane, the plan in his mind a little too much but his life is  too rough and his source of life had vanished just like that.

He remembers his first dream, after a particularly terrible day, and Kyoutani couldn't wait to fall asleep, because the dark and the demons were less of a nightmare than his existence was.

He ties the rope into a noose.

Instead he was greeted with a heaven. White clouds. Shining sun. Yahaba.

Yes, he must certainly be crazy.

He steps onto the top of the gravestone.

He just doesn't want the dark dreams. He doesn't want to wake up every morning and pour himself a glass of scotch. He doesn't want to come home and smoke a cigarette.

He knots the other end of the rope onto the branch.

He doesn't want to stare at his cream wallpapered chipped walls. He wants heaven. He wants Yahaba.

He slips the noose around his neck.

The only place he can see Yahaba, the only thing that will make the dark smoke go away is-

He steps off the gravestone.

-death.

Kyoutani's a little insane but that's the reason that he does it anyway.

* * *

Watari Shinji is the first person to see Yahaba Shigeru's dead body and he is also the first person to see a figure hanging from the tree above Yahaba’s grave.

There is no note, but Watari feels it in the air and he cries for two lost souls. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry.......
> 
> i think?


End file.
